Sunday, December 8, 2013

Why My Next Car Will Be A Drone

By Allen Bacon, The Daily Bosco

I pretty much have given up on my dream of owning a Pope Mobile.

I keep on getting outbid on Ebay.

Besides that, I am almost certain the new Pope would frown on me having such a lavish car.

But that's ok because I have a new vehicle obsession....something that has replaced my desire to own the Pontiff's old car.

After seeing the interview of Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos on CBS 60 Minutes last Sunday, I think what I really want for my next vehicle is a Drone.

First of all, let me state that was a pure stroke of marketing genius by coming out and saying that Amazon was working on a drone to deliver stuff.  Did you notice how many people were tweeting about and how many news outlets were buzzing the day after?  For instance, my local county newspaper devoted two whole pages to the idea.

You can't buy that kind of publicity.  Or if you did, it would cost a lot of money.

And did you notice that this announcement and story came out at the start of the Christmas shopping season?  The night before Cyber Monday.  One wonders how much of an impact having the name Amazon splashed all over the public consciousness had on sales the next day.

I know this person at my office that was railing against how Amazon was scary and it was putting the mom and pop stores in America out of business and how Amazon has plans to take over the world.  Then the mail was delivered with four packages for this person with the Amazon tape on it.  They couldn't resist the low prices on the books.

I love Charlie Rose and 60 Minutes but they were duped into this story.  In the words of the great 80's poet Thomas Dolby,  "She blinded me with Science".

I have tossed this whole delivery by drone thing around in my head and I have a hard time seeing how it would work correctly.  Yes, it's cool and it technically could work but you just wonder how many people are going to be sitting around with a BB gun or sling shot trying to take these drones down?  Also, if it gets too popular are you going to have the air cluttered by these things? Is there going to be a whole new wing of the FAA devoted to low flying air craft?

This whole drone thing is not new.  There have been other people working on this.  One day a few months ago I was on the Cal State Fullerton campus and the engineering students were out test flying their drones.  They just didn't announce it to 60 Minutes.

Here at the Bosco Labs we are working on taking this Drone Idea to a whole new level.  We are going to use Drones as transportation.

Now you may wonder how we are going to do this when a Drone can only carry 5 pounds.  Good Question.

Here at the Bosco Labs we are working on technology that will shrink us to a size that will fit into a small box the drone can carry.  Well, we actually are not really working on this but we are pretty sure it will work.

Like it did for Rick Moranis in those "Honey I Shrunk The Kids" Movies.  Somebody else can work out the details.

But I figured that if Elon Musk from SpacEx can just float the idea of a big suction tube device that will ferry people between LA and San Francisco in a tin can like depositing your paycheck at the drive through at your bank and get a lot of publicity for it, I figure I can do the same thing with my Drone idea.

Our new drone vehicle, The Bosco Transport System,  will be powered by a partnership with Google and fly itself so I can get work done as I quietly fly, albeit shrunken,  to my destination, dodging bb gun and sling shot fire along the way.  Plus I will be selling advertising space on all four sides of the Drone.

Now I'm just waiting for the call from 60 Minutes.

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