Saturday, November 24, 2012
Don't Worry...Twinkie The Kid Will Ride Again
As I was doing my traditional last minute Thanksgiving Meal Shopping this past Thursday morning, I decided that I just had to have a Twinkie for old time's sake.
As an aside, Thanksgiving morning is the best time to buy a turkey. The supermarkets are trying to get rid of their inventory and are marking the turkeys down low to move them. But I don't care about that...I do it for the rush...sort of like turning your taxes in on April 15 before midnight. But I digress.
Not that I have had, wanted or needed a Twinkie for about twenty years...I just thought it would be a good thing to pay my final respects now that Hostess, the company that makes the Twinkie. is going out of business.
I found out that it's true what they are saying.
Apparently the only places you can buy a Twinkie is on Ebay for $30-$60 a box, the Black Market or on the corner from a Junk Food Pusher.
Yes, I am sad to report there was not a Twinkie, Ding Dong, Ho Ho or a Hostess Fruit filled or Cream filled Pie to be found in that store. It is truly a sad week in America.
Some folks are blaming the Bakery Union and their demands for the demise of Hostess.
Others say that we are such a Health Conscious society now, that eating junk food is becoming less popular and acceptable. (So...Thanks Michelle Obama).
I submit it's maybe a little bit of both.
Do you know who my heart goes out to the most in this situation?
The workers that made and delivered the Hostess products that are out of work? Sure. The people that are addicted to gooey cream filling injected into Angel Food Cake like Crack addicts? You Bet.
But the people I am saddest for, of course, are the Good Folks that Deep Fry stuff.
A whole industry will dry up and go away because the most popular deep fried item, The Twinkie, will not be available for Deep Frying.
Which is one of the reasons why the President and Congress and the American Taxpayers must step in and bail out Hostess now.
Because you do not want this happening at the 2016 Presidential Campaign.
Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan: "There was a Hostess factory in my District. President Obama and the Democrats said that they would keep it open. Then it was closed...weeks after he was re-elected."
Actually, truth be told, we probably don't have to do that.
As I looked around the Supermarket I found the Brands we grew up with, but under different ownership. Brands like Pepsodent Toothpaste, Bosco Chocolate Milk, and Chase and Sanborn Coffee.
Even the history of Hostess and the number of times that product changed hands and it's genealogy will make your head spin.
The point is, somebody is going to buy the Hostess Brand and produce and sell the products, capitalizing on the Hostess Brand name.
Maybe even Mitt Romney's Bain Capital.
Or the popular Mexican bakery, Bimbo, who don't have Unions to contend with, will manufacture the products down in Mexico on the cheap.
But I hope that doesn't happen. Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Ho's and Hostess Fruit filled pies are American Damnit!! As American, as well...Apple Filled Fruit Pies.
So, here's my modest proposal.
An American company buys the Hostess Brand and then licenses the production of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and Ho Ho's to the small local Bakeries like my new favorite Hansel's and Gretels in Fullerton, CA. The folks that lost their jobs in the Hostess shutdown would be on the inside track for those jobs.
This would sort of be like what 3M does with the licensing of Post-It-Note printing to printers. Or the NFL licensing their wares to various shirt and cap producers.
Think about it...this will even spawn a whole bunch of side industries like.... The Twinkie Police or the ITRS (Internal Twinkie Revenue Service), who will make sure that nobody violates the licensing agreements.