Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Coffee Cups Are Stacked Against Romney

By Allen Bacon, The Daily Bosco

I was in a 7-eleven yesterday and I noticed that they have started their quadrennial coffee cup poll.

For the uninformed, this is where the home of the Slurpee has coffee cups printed with the two major presidential candidates names on it. As you buy your coffee (mine was a house blend with sugar-free hazelnut syrup) you put the coffee in your candidate's cup. Blue will be for Obama. Red will be for Romney. Of course.

As last time, 7-eleven will keep track on how many people take Obama cups and how many people will take Romney cups. And, through this method they say that they have successfully predicted the outcome of the last three elections.

I have to say, kudos to the marketing department or some coffee cup maker in the midwest who came up with this idea. Sheer genius.

But here are the problems.

First of all,  many of Romney's supporters don't drink coffee.  His Latter Day Saint supporters have a dietary restriction against coffee.

But come to think about it...there are a few things that may offset that fact.

Like the fact that Democrats usually drink some soothing herbal tea with honey in it.  And when Dems do drink coffee wouldn't they be doing the environmentally-responsible thing by drinking out of a reusable porcelain cup?

Other than the LDS supporters, Republicans drink coffee by the gallon. I see them coming in with their 62 oz. Big Gulp cups all the time and filling them up with coffee. So in most election years, Republicans are always going to win the coffee cup vote.

Also, where are the undecided cups? Or the Ron Paul cups? Or the Ralph Nader Cup? I think the Undecided cups should be purple. You know the color when you mix blue and red. The Ralph Nader cup of course would have a Chevette on it and be recycled. And be green. Or maybe the reason why you don't see undecided cups  is that they sell out really fast.

And what about the young voter? Isn't the average 18-25 year old chugging an energy drink? Shouldn't the cans of Throttle be counted as well?

Here in Republican country, AKA Orange County, the coffee cups are definitely stacked against the Democratic candidate. Last time, some wise guy or gal took a bunch of McCain cups and put them on top of the Obama cups. Which in coffee cup elections is the equivalent of ballot box stuffing or scare tactics at the voting booth.

In this particular 7-eleven, after I sorted out the coffee cups (which made me look a lot like Tony Shaloub in Monk), it seemed to be like the national election...too close to call.

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