Sunday, August 12, 2012
He Could Be The Next Golden Boy
The Games of the XXX Olympiad in London are over! You can go back to watching real live sporting events as they happen now on Free TV. Also take solace in this one fact: Dancing With The Stars is only about a month away too. Oh, wait that's delayed too.
But before I close my notebook of scribblings here at the Pub (Actually the Ye Olde Ship in my hometown of Fullerton, CA. ), I jotted down a few notes I want to share with you. Olympic Committee, if you are reading, please feel free to use my ideas. Because, unlike watching live Olympic coverage on television, they are free.
As I made my way across the Western United States one morning last week, I stopped off for a cup of coffee and a Breakfast Burrito at a place that had a television and actually found myself, for the first time in my life, watching an Equestrian Dressage Event. OK, OK I was looking to see how Anne Romney's horse was going to do. Actually I was looking for shots of Mitt and Anne Romney. But I digress.
This was one of the most amazing events I had seen. These horses are incredible. They had these huge creatures dancing and prancing and being light on their feet, er hoofs. They were dancing better than Adam Carola on Dancing With The Stars.
Then I thought....wait a minute. Why do horses get to be in the Olympics representing their country? What about other members of the animal kingdom? Why are dogs, cats, possums, mice, rats excluded from the Olympics? This is discriminatory and wrong! This must end.
I know the wheels of change turn slow at the Olympics. Just think how long it took for them to get BMX into the games. Or, did you know that this was the very first Olympics that every country participating had a woman athlete?
Let me ask you something. What would you rather watch? Horses dancing and prancing around or Dog Frisbee? I rest my case. This may be my only chance at getting into the Olympics for me unless I take a shot at the Walk race (there was one guy that was older than me competing..or maybe he just looked that way...from all that walking) or rhythmic gymnastics. I am really good at throwing rainbow colored ribbons into the air and catching them.
Now, if they put Dog Frisbee in the Olympics....I have a real legit shot.
My Yellow Lab Chad would have a great shot at making the team. He could be the next Golden Boy.
Chad has an incredible back story...I could just see the pre-recorded video on him. He was a rescue dog...rescued by his owner (me) from living practically next door to the Disneyland Matterhorn and the fireworks show every night in Anaheim. Think about being a dog in those circumstances. Dogs go crazy every fourth of July. Think of it being the Fourth of July every night! Because of that fact, he is partially deaf...which would make him the first technically handicapped animal of the Olympics.
Then he had to overcome his fear....and this is weird for being a Labrador Retriever...his fear of water and his dislike of fetching or retrieving stuff.
But we got over that by being innovative and coming up with the first Frisbee Steak. Before, Chad wouldn't fetch anything. Throw a ball or a Frisbee out and most Labradors will instinctively run after it, track it down and bring it back to you. Not Chad. He would give me a stare, like, "Are you kidding me. You go get it yourself".
This is until I strapped some Carne Asada from La Bodega Market onto the Frisbee and threw it out there. Then you should have seen the transformation. It was like Chad became a combination of Olga Korbutt, Cathy Rigby, and Tim Dagget rolled into one. It was a thing of beauty. It made me cry.
I also think of how much Chad will be worth in Advertising value after he wins his gold medals. Think about it. Most of the dogs on television commercials are either Yellow Labs or Golden Retrievers.
Chad would be a natural. A good looking Southern California boy with a laid back personality. He could be on the Wheaties and/or Purina Dog Chow box with his Gold medals around his thick muscular neck ala Michael Phelps.
Chad has probably one more shot at making the Olympics for Rio in 2016, then it will be time to hang up the Frisbee.
That's why it is imperative that the Olympic Committee move fast on this. I thank you for your support and your letter writing.