Thursday, June 7, 2012

Dating Game, Bachelor, and Poker After Dark

By Allen Bacon, The Daily Bosco

So I fell asleep a few weeks back while watching an episode of Law and Order on NBC. That may or may not be a commentary on the show…but I was really tired. Anyway, I wake up in the middle of the night...NBC still going. I had slept through the local news, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, and Carson Daly. So, it’s around 2:30 in the morning and I can’t believe what I’m seeing and hearing on my TV.

On the screen are some guys around a poker table smoking cigars and playing poker and talking...kinda like my neighbor's Friday night poker game. Some guy’s talking about his former girlfriend and how he ran into her…blah, blah, blah…how she looked different now that she was older….blah blah blah…the conversation was more compelling than the actual poker game.

So this is what NBC has been reduced to? The Peacock network is now mostly talk shows, cop shows from Dick Wolf, The Office, 30 Rock, and Poker…Cool.

Then for whatever reason I was thinking about an earlier season of The Bachelor. This is probably because the current season isn't all that good or because I still can't believe what they did that season. It was the season where they had a single dad looking for a new wife. So, let me get this straight…here is a single dad who is not only looking for a wife but a mother for his kid? That’s sweet until he gets into the hot tub with 15 young women in bikinis. Kid when older: So Dad, how did you meet mom? Well, I thought she looked the best in a wet swimsuit. Kid: How about parenting skills? Well, that whole parenting thing is kind of overrated.

After seeing that, I kind of miss the original Dating Game. Well I actually miss Jim Lange, the host, but that’s another story. The Dating Game was more innocent….even with all the sexual inneuendos. Bachelor # 1, If I were an artichoke heart, what would you do to me? "I would rip the heart out and eat it for lunch?… which is probably what you're going to do after a couple dates."

Sometimes, since the person asking the questions couldn’t see the three prospective dates they would usually go with the person who “sounded” the coolest. It was funny when the person that she or he picked look like a total dweeb. The expression on their face when they came out from behind the wall was priceless.

I didn’t really care about The Dating Game so much until Karen Valentine the cute teacher on Room 222 was on the show. Then I wanted to be on the show and win the date. Bachelor # 1….If I was your teacher how would you treat me? "Get detention so I can stay after school with you…what do you want me to say Karen? Anything to get a date". None of my teachers looked like that. With the possible exception of Miss Newby in the third grade. She would always wear mini-skirts to school too...just like Karen Valentine. But she was off limits. The rumour was that she was going with the other third grade guy teacher who was single and cool. So us boys didn't have a chance. Plus there was that whole underage thing which is apparently frowned upon.

So if the date was successful you would see the couple on the Newlywed Game in a few months. If it wasn’t so good you would see them on Cheaters.

I always thought they sent the couples on the Dating Game to lame places for a date. Except I think they sent Karen Valentine and her date to Hawaii. I was so jealous. I kept on thinking all the stuff the dweeb she picked and her were doing in Hawaii together. I was a very jealous eleven year old.

So, after thinking about the three aforementioned shows, I think if you merged the three shows together you would really have something. What better way to get to know your prospective mate than by the way they play a hot tub...behind a wall...

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